Shaky Ground

I am so tired and sad. It is so hard to motivate yourself when there are people in your life that do whatever they can to bring you down. I am angry that I have let anyone hurt me and make me feel this way. I must do whatever I can to get past this and move on...that means accepting that I can't change other people, only myself.

"Wicked" is still wicked!

I went to see the show Wicked last night for the second time and I still love it so much. Defying Gravity and For Good are still really awesome tunes. I feel inspired once again to get up off my duff and get started and this show makes me feel like I can. If I am really going to start my life over again I need all the help I can get.....thank goodness I still have my music!

Should I or Shouldn't I?

With Halloween just barely coming up I'm doing something that I usually loathe...planning for the holidays. I have always been a big giver of treats for the holidays and it always makes me feel good, but I am trying to decide if I want to bake at all this year. I am debating whether the warm fuzzies outweigh the cost. I'm also not sure if I really want to have the leftovers in the house as I have gained weight since I joined the ranks of the unemployed 3 1/2 months ago. I guess I will go with the wait and see approach...at least until Thanksgiving.

Come to Lunafest and Support the Denver Women's Chorus

Lunafest is a short films festival by, for and about women and a huge amount of funds raised for the October 23rd showing will go to the Denver Women's Chorus.
For more information:
http://www.lunafest.org/
Come and join me for this fabulous event!

Sometimes I hate being responsible!

OK, so Emma's Revolution is finally coming back to town...and I can't go. It falls on the same day as a DWC event, and I have committed to singing. It's a bitch being a grown up...oh well.

Being Stuck and Other Gripes

I was talking to someone over the weekend and I realized that I have been unemployed now for about 2 months. This isn't bad.....I know someone who has been looking since the beginning of the year and it could be worse. I know this, and I am doing everything to keep my chin up. Along with this I had another revelation. With the exception of a brief time in the mid 90's I have never been without a job. This fills me with anxiety and a sense of urgency. I FEEL STUCK. Like I can't move, or act or make a decision. Am I not trying hard enough, or am I being too picky? I don't know....maybe. I also feel like that kid I was in the late 80's when I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up. I still don't know the answer to this question. Who does? Maybe I am just being moody.
As I embark on my journey of career change I hope I am doing the right thing. Can a 39 year old woman who suddenly can't remember little things about conversations (I used to remember too much) really go back to school? I guess we will have to see.

Remembering 9/11

I said a little prayer this morning, for all those who lost their lives and the families still mourning their loved ones. It is so hard to believe that it has been 8 years since that horrifying day. I can still remember how I was feeling, how all of us were feeling. Keeping in that same mode I turned on my MP3 player and listened to "If I Give Your Name" by Emma's Revolution. The song really portrays the plight of the undocumented workers that died and their families. It is such a fantastic song because it helps us remember our compassion. We always forget our compassion when immigration, particularly illegal immigration is discussed. I of all people could be angry as I am unemployed myself, but I can't help but feel for all people who want a better life. I want a better life so why wouldn't anyone else? I'm sure when some read this they will be angry at my stance. I understand that, and they have that right. I just hope that they will listen to the song and try to remember who we are. As Americans we are generous, intellegent and yes, compassionate people. Let us not forget that.